I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
