I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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