Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
