Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
