he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
