And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
