How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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