Whod you bang
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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