It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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