I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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