Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
