I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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