i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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