my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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