we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
