So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
