gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
