yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
