saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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