My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
