i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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