Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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