so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
