He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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