Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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