So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
