i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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