It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
