In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
