dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
