Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize