ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
