We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
