I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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