I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize