I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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