I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
