I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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