Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize