Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
