Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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