I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
