i don't like sucking hair
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i came on her dog
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
