FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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