Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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