I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize