bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize