Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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