I never want to see another naked old woman again.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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