how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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