I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize