Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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