Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize