Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize