sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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