Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
