Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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