She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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