No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
