apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
