i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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