Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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