dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
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Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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