Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
