great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
