My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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